Falling in love – the first journey

Once we have spied an object of desire, two different programs begin to run frantically inside our heads.

The first is biological, a genetic program. At this rudimentary level, every living being seeks to reproduce. The fact that we do not mate with everyone is for the most part biologically determined. By way of odorants – so called pheromones – by way of taste and many other signals that are exchanged unconsciously, nature assures that only the most complementary genetic combinations attract one another.

The second level of partner selection has nothing to do with something as disillusioning as smell and genetics. It is the level on which we find something romantic. But as beautiful as romance is, it is a delusion.

What we would like to call a magic moment is often no more than a previous pattern of behavior in relationships – a repetition.

Some part of our highly-complex personalities is searching for a mirror, and hardly do we believe ourselves to have discovered that mirror when already we feel butterflies in our stomachs.

The fact is, when we fall in love, we are actually falling in love with ourselves at first, with our current aura and the elated, dreamy dizziness with which we catch the glimpse of passers-by and which makes us feel that the world is ours.

All of that does feel like magic, and in those moments we are in reality the creators of our own universe. Not, however, because Cupid’s arrow has pierced us, or we have met our soul mate and are now riding the wave of a never-ending happiness, but simply because we are tipsy, we are high on drugs.

They are not drugs we grew on a balcony however, or purchased from some sketchy street dealer. It is rather a potent combination of things we ourselves produce: Dopamine, noradrenalin, and others. Our blood is inundated with them. At the same time our serotonin levels drop, similarly to people suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

It is just so beautiful.