Creating Understanding

Erste Sitzung: Paarberatung und Eheberatung - Paartherapie und Sexualberatung - Systemische Familien-Therapie

In the first session, we hear from everybody and try to figure out which concrete arrangements and guidelines are required for the couple to begin on a path to overcome their challenges together.

Often, patterns that lead to disappointment are quickly articulated, and we work with the couple to develop de-escalation techniques. This does not mean that conflicts are brushed under the rug, but rather that we seek to create a space where they can be resolved.

Through this process, partners gain a theoretical understanding of the next step in their development, and the challenges associated with that development. In many relationships this understanding immediately leads to a reduction in tension, in the case that the couple was truly afraid that their love had been lost and they had drifted apart. Suddenly, they are able to situate their current conflict within a process that creates forward movement, a model that not only creates understanding, but also fosters the courage needed to go on.

While this realization is not a solution in itself, it often leads to a momentary cease-fire and creates motivation to engage with the deeper causes of the conflict.

Okay, we recognize that we have lost our way and are stuck,” or “Finally I can name my feelings and my anxieties.”

Now that the foundation for a conscious understanding has been laid, we can begin with the actual work. The first step has been taken, and the despair of not understanding each other gives way to a cautious trust and often curiosity.

How do we move on?” becomes the next crucial question, a question that sprouts from the nurturing ground of a newly won hope.