Anja's offer

I went astray and fell for charlatans. I wanted to believe in a good, intact world. One that my childhood didn’t promise. So I set off on my own path at an early age. However, I did this with great credulity and naivety, in the hope that “something or someone” would save me and my emotional wounds would heal themselves. I often didn’t know how to protect myself.

But looking back, it was mainly the painful experiences and disappointments that opened me up to my truth and healing, to penetrate into the depths of being – what I saw as my world dissolved layer by layer. When you look at a butterfly, nothing reminds you of a caterpillar anymore. It no longer exists.

These “dying and becoming” processes favored times of retreat and solitude for me. I entered my “inner space”, where I was undisturbed in my cocoon, spun into silken threads like a transforming caterpillar.

My life was upside down – it was the start of something new. Resting in myself and letting happen what could no longer be reversed. Marveling at what unexpectedly fell away and emerged without my doing. The fear of going crazy and losing control of my life was immense. But the darkest hours showed me my inner light – I learned to trust my “sensitive antennae”.

Everything was different and yet, apparently, everything remained the same. My transformation was not a spiritual enlightenment where lightning bolts shot through me or I was flooded with endless feelings of happiness – even if I did feel that my mind became clearer and moments of inner peace set in.

I gained distance from the roles and stories I identified with and saw my “blind spots” more clearly. It was frightening to see parts of myself that I had never seen before and at the same time liberating as the veils of my illusions lifted, recognizing the origin of everything.

Individual pieces of the puzzle came together to form a whole – and slowly I was able to feel and see what was there with an open heart and alert eyes.

Since then, I have been a wanderer between worlds.