What heals?
Pain, illness and suffering are part of life, we are all affected by them. But the question is how conscious can I remain without falling into the same eternal pit?
On one of my trips through India, I ended up in a Catholic hospital with food poisoning and quite dehydrated. Above the entrance to the operating theater was a daily admonition to the doctors: “We treat – God heals”. Whatever you believe in, something bigger or just yourself – healing never comes from the outside. Treatment or therapy will support you, but the key to lasting change lies within yourself.
I know what illness is because I know what you are looking for when: your heart aches, your teeth gnash, the bathwater is blood red, your partnership flies around your ears and the loss of someone almost takes your mind away.
I also know about being torn in love and being betrayed from two sides: by yourself and by the other person who doesn’t take a stand.
It should just stop
I wished for the same thing in everything: that the pain would stop as quickly as possible. In hindsight, I know that it wouldn’t have got me one millimeter further. Because it was precisely this pain, which I tried to numb and push away in various ways, that became my acid test of compassion, patience and devotion.
This showed me where I stood and how I kept hurting myself in unconscious ways and standing in my own way. Until the signs became more drastic and I learned to listen to my impulses and trust myself.
In Buddhism, pain, illness and suffering are part of life, we are all affected by them. But the question is how conscious can I remain without falling into the same eternal pit?
No more falling into the pit
A painful or traumatic experience that could not be processed will eventually put on a new dress or costume and be reflected in addictions, inner restlessness, fear of loss, exaggerated/avoidant sexuality, or recurring physical complaints.
Healing needs a space in which it can unfold, and it arises from your reflection on what led to this crisis or illness.
How did you contribute to this happening to you, and what can you do to stop it happening to you, or to deal with it?
In this way, every therapy initially only creates the space and time you need for this reflection, it can be accompanied by me, but above all it takes place in your silence and at your own pace.
If you want to get back to work as quickly as possible, are looking for a quick fix or a consolation so that you can continue to run as efficiently as possible on the hamster wheel, that’s understandable, but I can’t help you with that.
Healing is the path on which I accompany you.
