2 days intensive:
Courage and truth - a path to love
Love requires courage – it not only makes us vulnerable, but we will inevitably be hurt. This is unavoidable among people, and even if I retreat to a monastery and love only God, I can be killed by a heavy beam in a tragic accident while renovating the attic.
And because getting hurt is inevitable, everyone has developed different defense mechanisms: the most common of all is to keep the heart closed, or to only open it a crack after putting on heavy armor.
Another defense is to accept the injury and create a victim identity that puts others at fault. Very hard-boiled people strike out without reason.
But whether as a fear-biter, permanent victim or with heart armor – I am still hurt, and by myself. Every avoidance, every defense mechanism separates me from other beings: so I can neither love nor receive love.
It is different for the monk who was killed by the beam: if he is firm in his faith, then the falling of an object was God’s work and these works are done out of an all-encompassing love and it is probably written on the gravestone: The ways of the Lord are inscrutable.
Truth in love requires courage
Truth is a great word for which many have died – whether at the stake or assassinated – all these people gave their truth a higher value than their lives. They loved their truth and had the courage to take a risk for it. At least they were not separated from their truth and thus from themselves.
The biggest lie of romantic love is that it doesn’t last forever. Saying this at the beginning destroys all magic – not acknowledging this as it progresses prevents growth. At the latest when everyday life sets in, the blanket of habits covers sweet dreams and hopes. Some ideas become projects, others are abandoned or disappointed. But an unredeemed residue continues to smoulder: as a grievance or the incipient dissatisfaction of unfulfilled desires.
Because what cannot be changed must at least be named2
However, instead of naming the deepest disappointments, most couples get caught up in superficial trivialities that can quickly become highly explosive, or else taboo the disappointment – we are actually doing fine. Until the truth comes out and nothing can hide the fact that things are not what they seem.
Every truth is first and foremost a truth towards myself, a reflection and letting go of my ideas, fantasies and longings: It is an illusion that a partnership will fulfill the children’s dreams of a caring father and loving mother. It will forever remain an unfulfilled longing for another person to heal old wounds or fill a long-standing lack.
Truthfulness is to recognize in all clarity that things will not get better or more relaxed with this partner or any other partner. Romantic love is bound to a counterpart, whereas great love lies within oneself: beyond all dreams, taboos, flaws and early injuries. Ultimately, great love is nothing other than unconditional self-acceptance and therefore the prerequisite for being accepted by others.
At a crossroads - stay or go?
If you are reading this text, your relationship is probably at a crossroads: either you stay lonely together or you wake up, grow and enter into a mature relationship. A partnership in which each person exposes themselves and their truth to the other.
And yes, that is dangerous, because there is always the danger that the whole structure will blow up in your face. But there is also the chance that you might feel and see each other for the first time and experience what it means to be in love. All partnerships and biographies are different and so we will never know where this journey will take you. We can only be guided by our experience, intuition and empathy. What can grow is a new form of encounter that is based on sincerity, connection and the courage to love.
Our way
We have gone through this process ourselves – with all the ups and downs, with fears, anxieties and in between with the feeling of “all is lost”. We have often wished for support, but found none. From this experience and our many years of working with couples, “Courage and truth – a path to love” was born.
The procedure
The “2-day intensive: Courage and truth – a path to love” takes place on two consecutive days in our practice or another protected space. It consists of 4 couple sessions of 120 minutes each. During the entire period, we are fully present with you and the process and have no other appointments.
This intensive process is not suitable for partnerships that are currently in a “hot” conflict situation or over which an unresolved affair is hovering.
A preliminary discussion in a two-to-two session is desired before booking the workshop.
