Offer for singles
Very few people want to stay alone for the rest of their lives. That’s why most people now and again yearn to meet a kindred soul.
In earlier times, people were introduced to each other and the meetings were arranged. This was followed by a period of self-determination and people met up for sport, parties and the like. Nowadays, most people trust the first impression made by dating apps or the algorithms of dating agencies.
Spoilt for choice
The first contact is usually superficial and it is up to each individual to open up, show themselves and deepen the encounter. What has increased is the number of possible contacts and the speed of jumping from one to the next. The partner of your dreams is often just a mouse click or a swipe away.
The world of possibilities seems limitless.
But whoever has the choice is spoiled for choice; and why it often still doesn’t work or why it’s always the wrong person has nothing to do with the number of possible contacts, but is down to your personality. It decides how and what you look at in the world.
The unconscious prey pattern
If I am used to disappointment, I will attract disappointment – not because I want to, but because I unconsciously expect disappointment. If I’m used to being the fifth wheel, then I’ll probably have partners with whom I take on the role of second wife or second husband. And if I find it difficult to get involved and take a risk, I will usually be torn between several people. This sounds simple and understandable, and yet most people struggle with these obstructive patterns for many years. It is often enough to broaden your horizons and look beyond the boundaries of your previous prey scheme – and new opportunities can open up.
Since the entire partner search is an unconscious process, most people often fall into old patterns and create new disappointments, no matter what they try to do.
They confirm to themselves that it was once again the wrong person, that they were not really recognized and that something about them is apparently unlovable.
Conscious change
Relationship coaching in one or more individual sessions can help to make internalized patterns of action transparent and to develop new ones. This also includes working on self-confidence and fears that have previously stood in the way of a fulfilling relationship.
